What Isn't Said

If you're a follower of this blog, you'll notice that my posts tend to fall into three general categories. There are posts about how do something, like put PayPal on your Facebook page, build a slider toggle, or include reference notes, posts that show a different side to things in technology industry news that catch my eye, and posts that are general career advice from someone who has spent a few years in a very turbulent industry. I'm not sure if this post fits in any of those three categories, or if I'm starting a fourth after reading the blogs written by two men I consider to be, at the very least, something more than acquaintances (http://www.thejourneyismydestination.com/ and http://www.codercowboy.com/). I should point out, I suppose, that neither of these has the reputation in the industry of Eric Meyer (http://meyerweb.com/) or Nicholas Zakas (http://www.nczonline.net/), but I suppose that gives them a little more influence in my estimation because they are writing, not because they need to but because they need to, and I see something of myself in that, and besides, their year-end posts were good.

In addition to the inspiration from other bloggers, this time, as I looked back on the past year and looked forward to a new year (as many of us do at the start of a new year) I came across interviewing tips from recruiters and one in particular caught my eye as I read through the post, asking myself the interview questions as part of my year-end self-reflection. The question caught my eye, in part because as someone who has conducted several interviews and 'phone screens', I find it to be a question that I've been asked, but have never asked - it's simply what is your greatest weakness.

This time, perhaps I found insight that has eluded me in previous years or perhaps I have rediscovered a forgotten truth, but I recognize that there are those who see my greatest weakness only as a weakness, while I see my greatest weakness as a strength as well. This difference in perspective likely comes about because we all expect that other people to not only understand our actions - because they're based on beliefs that spring from rational thought - but to share those rationality-generated beliefs our actions are based upon. However, that universally-held, unspoken belief is false - there are those who do not understand our actions and do not share our beliefs, and likely never will - their perception is fixed and the die is cast.

Here's where I offer a bit of advice. When this happens to you, and it's extremely likely it will, at some point although you will not fully realize what is happening you will attempt to cast what others see as your greatest weakness as a strength. This is a Sisyphian task, and no matter how many times you roll that boulder up the hill, scrabbling for every inch of dirt, it will roll back down, and all the while, none of us acknowledge or challenge our perspective unless we trust each other - really trust each other - and remember that we're human, doing the best we can with any given situation.

As the past year closes and a new one is begun, I am also reminded that good leaders know the strengths of those on their team, and beyond that, great leaders see strength where sometimes even team members see only weakness. As we work together, maybe we should take Peter Drucker's words to heart and listen for what's not said - search for those points of weakness - and talk about why we see them as weakness but to then use our trust of each other to move beyond that to see them - really see them - not only as weakness but as a hidden strength, because whether we're the team captain or just one of the players, we can all benefit from the humanity that comes from trusting each other.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and the weal or woe of a tale is in the ear of the listener (Robert's Rule #9)

[Tweeted 2011-05-06]

I'm not the best designer...I do OK, but I'm certainly not the best. I can say that without regret or remorse or any sense of self-deprecation...it's an honest, realistic analysis, and one that comes after quite a bit of study and practice.

I spent several years in secondary school taking art classes as electives and have sketched live models, created my share of ceramics, and even painted a 5 meter mural for the school, and of course there were the (nearly obligatory) art appreciation courses. After all that, I'm familiar with a color wheel and perspective and how form should follow function. I still don't consider myself the best designer or artist. I'm just not that interested in it. I guess you might say it's a little like how most people experience music. They may play a couple of musical instruments and enjoy listening to music while they're in the car or cranking out some serious code, but they're not going to be anyone's rock god...ever.

From that being said, however, it should be relatively easy to see that I have a mildly educated palate when it comes to artistic pursuits, and I know what I like and sometimes I know what others like...but not always. I've had some people request designs that made little (or no) sense to me and I'm sure an inverse of that situation has applied at various points...and we have a saying, that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", that seemingly covers this difference in taste.

One day I was interviewing for a position at an advertising firm. In describing the position, they told a tale that had baffled and even discouraged some candidates. When asked for my input, I responded that this appeared to me to be an opportunity, and by addressing it in a specific way they could easily turn the situation around. (I even described the pseudo-code necessary to address the situation, which in hindsight may not have been the best idea...I perhaps should have waited for the job offer first...but, lesson learned.)

That situation, and a few others like it, have led me to amend the idiomatic expression in what is my ninth rule, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and the weal or woe of a tale is in the ear of the listener (Robert's Rule #9). Not everyone will hear the woe in your tragedies, nor will everyone hear the joy in your celebrations. Just as you wouldn't expect everyone to appreciate Picasso or Dali as you do, don't expect them to appreciate a story as you do, even if that story is a major career event.